“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality or
lower your expectations”

-Jodi Picoult

There have been so many times that I have heard the same thing…“if you don’t want to get hurt, don’t have any expectations.” We go through life trying to find people that can appreciate and validate us. I have also heard that there are two types of people in this world, nails and hammers. The nails are the ones who take the beating while the hammers are the ones who give the beating. I’ve seen many people in relationships that always give and give and get nothing in return. While I do appreciate the philosophy that we shouldn’t expect anything from anyone to avoid disappointment, I do believe that we need to raise our standards to improve our reality.

Picture this, there is a pitcher that is full of water; this water is delicious and refreshing. Now imagine there are thirsty people, lining up to drink water. The pitcher keeps pouring and pouring, however, the water is not being refilled. Over time, what do you think will happen to the pitcher? The same way this pitcher is being emptied over time, we can sometimes be surrounded by energy vampires that love to receive and receive without offering anything in return. Energy vampires are attracted to people with pure energy, people who are selfless and people who give without expecting anything in return. While people can continue to give to energy vampires, there will come a time where the energy will run dry, there will be nothing more to give.

We are presented with three choices: we can have no expectations, lower our expectations or we can raise our standards to improve our reality. Having no expectations does not mean that you shouldn’t have standards for the way that people treat you. It is important that we hold a level of respect and accountability to ourselves. I’m not saying to go into any type of relationship to get something in return, however, if you are mistreated or taken for granted, should you be in that relationship? We are beautiful vessels, not garbage cans to be dumped on or doormats to be stepped on. As human beings, we have a need for validation, consideration and respect.

The most important thing to remember is that we cannot change anyone, we cannot control anyone’s behavior and this is where we should not expect anything from anyone. We do have the power to control our behavior and we have the power to change who is in our lives. Self-love starts with you. Don’t let energy vampires suck the beautiful energy out of you. Surround yourself with people that will help fill your vessel with love, goodness and kindness.

The only way to be happy is by improving our standards. Our standard of treatment, our standard of the people we surround ourselves with, and the standard of how we love ourselves.